Norby The Mixed-Up Robot tnc-1 Read online

  Footsteps were indeed approaching. Lots of them.

  Jeff seized Norby and scuttled behind a bush. Down the path between the trees came a group of people. Each person was holding binoculars.

  "Bird-watchers," whispered Jeff.

  "What are those?" Norby asked. " A new species of human being? I haven't seen anything like that before."

  "That's because you spent too much time in space with McGillicuddy watching asteroids. Human beings like to observe the activities of other animals. These people watch birds, not asteroids."

  "You mean they pry into the privacy of birds?"

  "Birds don't care."

  "But don't these human beings have anything better to do?"

  "Watching birds is a good action. Would you rather they stood about and littered?"

  "Birds litter. They-"

  "Shut up, Norby."

  The leading human, an elderly lady in tweeds, stopped beside the fishpond. "Here," she said, "is a good place to watch for owls. We've had them in Central Park for the last century. Before that, they would stop here occasionally, but wouldn't stay. There were always enough rats and mice for them to eat, but either the air was too polluted or the city was too noisy. Either way, they would decide that the price of a good meal was too high. Now they seem to like Manhattan, as all of us good Manhattan patriots do. At least the little screech owls do. I've been told they nest in the trees around here, and since it is not yet sunrise, there's hope we may see an owl on the move."

  "I don't want to see an owl on the move," said Norby.

  "What's that?" said the tweedy woman sharply. "Who said that? If there's anyone here who doesn't want to see owls, why did you come?"

  "I don't like owls. They're probably scary," said Norby.

  "Only if you look like a rat," whispered Jeff, "and you don't-though I wouldn't put it past you to act like one. Now keep quiet!"

  "There's something behind that bush," said a boy. "Right there!"

  "Muggers!" screamed a girl, waving her binoculars. "They'll knock us down and take our binoculars!"

  "I don't need your binoculars," said Norby. "I have telescopic vision when I want it."

  "Really?" said Jeff, fascinated. 'That could be convenient."

  "Maybe they're Ing terrorists," said a man, "and they're holding a secret conference here in the park."

  The group of bird-watchers was suddenly very still.

  Jeff held his breath, and even Norby was quiet for a change.

  At that moment, a shape detached itself from a dark tree and swooped down over the heads of the bird-watchers.

  "We're being attacked by the terrorists," yelled the same man who had mentioned them before.

  The woman in tweeds stood transfixed, clasping her hands. She didn't seem the least bit frightened-only excited. "Look! Look! It's a great gray owl! A Canadian! It's rarely seen this far south! My first Central Park sighting!"

  The other bird-watchers paid no attention. They were scrambling back up the path, clutching their binoculars. "Let's go back," one of them shouted. "What's the use of watching birds when terrorists are watching us. "

  Jeff couldn't bear to ruin the bird-watching. He didn't particularly want to get involved, but he had no choice. He stood up, facing the bird-watching leader. "I'm not a terrorist, ma 'am, or a mugger, either. I'm here to celebrate the summer solstice. A family tradition."

  "Oh my," said the woman. 'The owl is gone."

  "I hope so," said Norby. "It was big enough to decide I was a mouse."

  Jeff pushed Norby with his elbow. "I'd be ashamed to be afraid of a little bird."

  "A little bird? Its wings were twelve feet across!"

  "Quiet!" said Jeff, and Norby subsided, muttering.

  "Perhaps you'll see it again, ma'am," Jeff said.

  "I certainly hope so. Seeing it even once was the thrill of my life-but what is that behind the bush?"

  "That's-uh-sort of my baby brother. He scares easily."

  "I do not," said Norby. "I'm as brave as a spacer."

  "As a what?" asked the woman.

  "He said he's brave. He's not afraid of anything as long as he knows he can run away."

  "I'm as brave as a lion," shouted Norby.

  "He's never even seen a lion."

  "I've seen lions in pictures," Norby said. "Mac had an old encyclopedia on his ship. I know how to be brave. I don't run from danger."

  "Your baby brother talks quite well for someone so small," said the woman, edging toward the bush.

  "He's a prodigy," Jeff said, blocking her off, "but he's very shy. You'll embarrass him very much if you come too close. Of course, he does talk a lot, but that's only because he has a big hat-mouth, I mean. Now I really have to start celebrating the solstice."

  The woman said timidly, "I don't suppose I could watch?"

  "No, you can't. You're supposed to be bird-watching, not me-watching," shouted Norby.

  "He means it's just a private family ceremony," Jeff said apologetically. "It's not traditional for anyone to watch."

  There came a shout from the woods. "Are you all right, Miss Higgins?"

  The woman smiled. "See that. They were very afraid, but they came back to rescue me. That's very touching isn't it?" She raised her voice. "I'm perfectly all right, good friends. I will be right with you." Then, again to Jeff, "Would you like to join our group some other morning?"

  "Oh, certainly," said Jeff, "but hadn't you better go back to them? They must be dying with worry for you."

  "I'm sure they are. We meet every Wednesday morning and on special occasions. I'll send you a notice. What is your name and address?"

  Jeff told her, and she wrote it down in a small black notebook.

  Off in the distance, the owl hooted.

  "This way!" called Miss Higgins to her group. "We may get another glimpse of it."

  She plunged back into the darkness of the wood, and Jeff could hear that she had found her group and was leading them off on another path. Finally the park seemed deserted again, except for the small sounds of animals and the predawn twittering of birds.

  "That was horrible!" Norby said.

  "Not at all," Jeff said. "It was just a little delay, and a harmless one. Far worse things used to happen in good old Central Park."

  "Muggers and terrorists?" Norby asked. "Tell me about them."

  "They're violent people from long ago. Central Park is perfectly civilized today."

  "Then why did you say you weren't supposed to go into the park at night?"

  Jeff blushed. "Fargo worries about me too much. Sometimes he thinks I'm a little kid. Still, the park is civilized now. You'll see."

  "I'd better see," said Norby. "I'm a very civilized object, and I prefer to avoid anything uncivilized."

  4. Out Of Central Park

  Jeff stretched. He hadn't had enough sleep, but daylight was on its way, and it was the solstice. "Come on, Norby. Let's go our civilized way to the special place of the Wells brothers."

  "Special place? It's yours? You own it?"

  "Not really. Not legally. It sure feels ours, though. It feels deep-down ours."

  "But not legally? If we're going to have trouble with policemen, I don't want to go."

  "We won't have trouble with policemen," said Jeff irritably. "What do you think this is? The asteroids? Just follow me." He started to walk down another path on the other side of the fishpond, but stopped and looked back at Norby, who hadn't budged.

  Jeff said, "Well then, go on your antigrav if you want to, Norby. I know walking is difficult for you."

  "I can walk perfectly well when I want to," Norby said. "I like to walk. I've won walking races. I can walk higher and deeper than anyone; just not faster. Human beings think that fast is everything when it comes to walking, and they're not so fast anyway. Ostriches and kangaroos go on two legs, and they're much faster than human beings. I read about them-"

  "In Mac's encyclopedia, I know. Kangaroos don't walk, they hop."

  "H
uman beings hop, and they can't go as fast as kangaroos. Besides, they look undignified when they hop. If they had bodies like barrels, like mine, they wouldn't. Watch me when I hop."

  "Okay, hop if you want to, but watch where-"

  It was too late. Norby tripped over a tree root and went over headfirst. His head didn't move downward, however; his legs moved upward. His body rose in the air, upside down, legs waggling out of the upper end, eyes upside down at the lower end.

  Jeff tried to be serious about it, and managed for about fifteen seconds. Then he burst out laughing.

  "There's nothing to laugh at. I just decided to turn on my antigrav," said Norby, outraged.

  "Upside down?"

  "I'm just showing you I can do it every which way. It's a poor antigrav that only works rightside up. Anyone can do that. I've won upside-down races. I can be more upside down than anyone else."

  "And can you also be rightside up?"

  "Certainly, but it's not as dignified, and I wanted to show you the dignified way. Since you insist, however, we'll do it your silly way." Norby righted himself with what certainly looked like an effort, then sank down slowly until his feet were on the ground again. He teetered a little, but he said, "Ta la," and stood on one foot as though he were trying to look like a ballet dancer.

  "Well," he said, "how do you want me to go? Forward or backward? I can go any possible way. Do you want diagonal?"

  "What you really mean," said Jeff, "is that you don't know which way you'll go until you actually try it. Right?"

  "Wrong! said Norby in a loud voice. "And let me tell you one thing, if you're so smart."

  "Yes."

  In a much milder voice, Norby said, "The one thing I want to tell you is that I think we should walk to your solstice place, Jeff, before the sun comes up on us and it's too late."

  He held out his hand. Jeff took it and, hand in hand, the robot and the boy walked on the woodland path into the more deeply wooded part of the Ramble. The sky was sufficiently light now to make it easy to see the shapes of trees and stones.

  They walked happily down the path into a deep glade with a little stream running through it, a stream that ran from a spring that seemed to come from a cleft in the enormous rock face at the end. On top of the miniature cliff of the rock face was a railing. There another path crossed the rock, became a tiny bridge, and circled down to join their path.

  A willow tree, small but graceful, bent over the stream, and around its roots grew lilies-of-the-valley, their white cups clear in the dim light. The light wind caused them to nod and send out their delicate perfume.

  "I like this," whispered Norby. "It's beautiful."

  "I didn't know robots could understand beauty," Jeff said.

  "Sure. An inflow of nice electricity is beautiful when your potential is down. I thought everyone knew that. Besides, I'm not just an ordinary robot," Norby said.

  "I can see that. The alien bits in you were from another robot, a wholly different kind, or from an alien computer or something."

  "That has nothing to do with it, Jeff. The trouble with you protein creatures is that you think you invented beauty. I can appreciate it, too. I can appreciate anything you can appreciate, and I can do anything you can do. I'm strong and I'm superbrave, and I'm a good companion in adventure. Let's have adventures, and I'll show you. Then you'll be glad you have me."

  "I'm sure of it, Norby. Honest."

  "Mac always wanted adventures, but he kept waiting, and the result was that he ended up never having any-except finding the alien ship. And then nothing happened."

  "Except to you."

  "You're right! I got fixed up."

  "Mixed up, you mean. You're certainly one mixed-up robot."

  "Why do you make fun of me? Just to show me that human beings are cruel?"

  "I'm not cruel. I'm glad you're mixed up and have the alien parts in you. That's what makes you strong and brave and-"

  At that moment Norby, who was standing with his legs stretched to their full length, widened his eyes to their fullest. "Yow!" he yelled.

  "What is it?" Jeff asked. He tried to let go of Norby's hand, but the robot held on with painful tightness, while pointing backward with his other hand. Jeff remembered that Norby had eyes in the back of his head.

  "Danger!" said Norby. "Enemy! Alien! Death and destruction!"

  "Where? What? Who?" Jeff looked here and there and, finally, up, just in time to see motion across the little bridge. Two figures were advancing quickly, too quickly to be made out in the half light.

  There were three men; two men chasing one man.

  "Norby!" Jeff cried out. "It's Fargo, and he's being attacked!"

  5. Spies And Cops

  "Let's go," shouted Jeff as Norby lifted them with his antigrav. "Bombs away!" And they came down directly on the head of the larger of the two attackers. Jeff was ready for the most desperate fight of his life, but the man wasn't. He crumpled to the ground under Jeff's weight, hit his head against the paving, and passed out.

  "Get the other one, Fargo," Jeff yelled. He was panting because most of the wind had been knocked out of him.

  "I don't have to," Fargo said. He was panting, too. "Your barrel did."

  There was Norby, closed up and on his side, next to the other attacker, who seemed to be groaning in his sleep.

  "That's no barrel, Fargo," said Jeff, scrambling to his feet. "That's-"

  Fargo wasn't paying attention to him. His eyes were shining with excitement. He liked fights and running and risks and danger, while Jeff did not especially like them. He wouldn't avoid them, but he didn't like them. In fact, he would avoid them if he could, whereas Fargo usually went out of his way to get into trouble. Jeff wondered again, as he often had, whether it was worth being related to Fargo. All in all, though, he always decided it was.

  "Now what's this all about, Fargo?" he asked, feeling like the older brother instead of the younger.

  "I might ask you the same question. How did you get here? You weren't here a minute ago. Where did you come from? The sky? And how did you knock out that bruiser, and what are you doing carrying a barrel about with you?"

  "Never mind all that. Who are these guys, and why are they after you? I thought the city administration was going to get rid of the muggers."

  "They're not muggers, Jeff. Anyway, not ordinary ones. They've been following me ever since I talked to Admiral Yobo about you and-uh-other things. I thought I'd lost them in the station at Luna City, but that was dumb of me. They just went on ahead and waited at the apartment. Fortunately, I've this sixth sense…"

  "Like me," came Norby's muffled voice. "I've got a sixth sense, too."

  "What?" said Fargo. "Did you speak, Jeff? Or is there someone else here?" He looked about.

  "Never mind. Go on, tell me. You were coming to the apartment with that famous sixth sense of yours-"

  "Yes. Something told me not to go in without questioning the computer outlet I stuck under the doormat, and it told me that the apartment had been broken into and that two men were inside. I questioned it further, and it told me you had gone out before the break-in, so I knew you were safe. Well, there was nothing in the apartment I was worried about except you, and I wasn't going to fall into their trap. I had to find you first. Then we could take care of them together. As we did, kid, right?"

  "Don't forget I helped out," said Norby in a loud whisper.

  "What?" said Fargo.

  "Pay no attention," said Jeff. "So you came to the park?"

  "Certainly; I knew you'd be here solsticing. But they came after me, and I had to lose them. I almost did. But just before I got here, there they were when I was practically on you, so to speak, and then you were on them."

  "Me, too," came the whisper.

  "There it is again," said Fargo. "I'm not insane, and I'm not hearing things, and you wouldn't be just sitting there, Jeff, if you didn't know who was talking. You better tell me." He walked over to Norby, still on his side, and looked down at
the barrel. "What is this? Don't tell me you brought a libation for the solstice and then spilled it."

  "No," said Jeff. "That barrel is my robot."

  "Are you kidding? What kind of robot is a barrel?" He put out his foot and pushed it gently.

  "That's extremely impolite," Norby said. "Why do you let him do that, Jeff?" The robot extruded his legs and arms and struggled upright. His hat lifted, and two eyes glared furiously at Fargo. "If I kicked you, " he said, "I'm sure you would object."

  "What do you know?" said Fargo, sounding dumbfounded. "It is a robot. Where did you get it, Jeff?"

  "At a secondhand robot store. You told me to get a teaching robot, and that's what it is. And he's my friend, mostly. Are you all right, Norby?"

  "Yes," said Norby, "and I'm glad you think I'm your friend, even though you don't treat me like one. Surely you don't expect me to stay all right when you persist in putting us into these dangerous situations with muggers-"

  "That's a teaching robot?" said Fargo.

  "He sure is. He's teaching me that life is complicated and dangerous," said Jeff. "But you still haven't told me who these muggers are. Or don't you know?"

  "Well, I don't know them by name, but I suppose they're a pair of Ing, s henchmen. " With his foot he prodded the smaller one, who was still groaning. "They don't seem to be badly damaged, unfortunately."

  Suddenly the larger one grunted, opened his eyes, and rolled over, reaching for a short stick that lay in the grass.

  Norby extended an arm farther than Jeff knew he could, grabbed the stick, and touched the henchman with it. The henchman yowled and seemed to collapse.

  Norby threw the stick to Jeff. "Take it," he cried. "My sixth sense tells me you may find it useful."

  Fargo walked over, took the stick from Jeff, and examined it closely. "Hey, what we've got here is an illegal truth wand, with a built-in stunner. That's an expensive item and a beautiful job, too. This shouldn't be available outside the Space Fleet."

  "That shows how inefficient the fleet is," Norby said. " Anyone can rifle its stores."

  "Don't tell me the fleet is-" began Fargo. He broke off and said, "What kind of robot have you got here, Jeff? Robots have a built-in prohibition about harming human beings. It's called the First Law of Robotics."